"For all it has cost me, I do not think I should agree with you." The pain sits, so close against her skin. Fills her voice the pain relieved for the time being, the itch abated. It would return, no doubt.
"But..." She swallows, her jaw setting when she looks back up - her gaze hard, flat. The same refusal to diminish herself. Still not beautiful, but still lean, quick and hard. "He shouldn't have touched her. He shouldn't have. I always told her I never would let anyone hurt her. She is the only one I want to hear from." It breaks, pain that bubbles up and up and up. "But they say I cannot see her. For what I did."
"No, he shouldn't have," he repeats without hesitation. But it is what happened, and Lakshmi did what she believed she needed to. There's no judgment as he regards her. That had already been passed and she would live with it the rest of her years.
"I do not have many dealings where you once resided, but if I happen upon her..." He shrugs and lets his words trail off, implication clear. If he managed to hear from Kashi and could see Lakshmi again, he would share what he learned. It was the most he could offer. He lets his words linger in the air around them for a moment longer before he gestures in offering, "I was about to eat, if you would like to join me."
"I would... like that." Tentative, unsure, her fellow servants of Elgar'nan were hard men and women. They offered no kindnesses, offered no respite to someone new. Especially not to someone who cared enough to cut a man down in her temper. Always too much Lakshmi, you need to learn to curb it some or it will get you in trouble.
Too late.
She rises when calls her to follow. Readjusting the uniform to set about her properly, tugging the long tunic into place with stiff hands. Dropping her gaze once more, though this was on behalf of the fact she hadn't meant to have any respite. Best to still look like she was still in pain, still recovering. Not half wrong. The painful heat on her face had abated, but it still did not make it easy to open her eyes fully for any length of time. The pain would return in some time. "I would like that." Her hand reaches out, fingers light, looking for his to guide her.
He accepts her hand and offers his arm should she want to be escorted more formally. There were enough inner twists and turns of Mythal's temple to confuse those that invaded that it would be far easier than trying to verbally guide her. Whether Elgar'nan would be annoyed that Solas was taking such liberties was beyond his concerns. None of his other servants would dear stop Solas with his position and would assume he had business with her. He had been present at her trial.
"There are a few steps here," he warns as he leads them up into the halls. As he continues speaking, there's a touch of concern in his next question, "Have you been able to eat today?"
Whether she's been allowed or her injuries have kept her from doing so. Thankfully those would heal with time.
No doubt, Elgar'nan would. She was a prize chattel, for the moment. Time would tell if it continued to be so, if he kept her at close range after it was done. Luck was so far, he only had eyes for Mythal. No need to look elsewhere. But he regarded her more like a new piece of furniture. Spoke of he was going to train her, make her strong. No doubt make his own name greater off of her. He wouldn't want anyone meddling in his particular plans for her.
That thought alone made it easy for her to take his arm in return. Looping through tentatively but holding fast. Her fingers curling up around into the material of his sleeve to keep hold.
"Only a simple amount." Hard to want to eat, at the moment. Slowed a little, as she navigates the stairs one by one. But the simplest answer: "I would definitely like to eat."
With her arm in his, he walks tall with her at his side. Those in Mythal's service would recognize this for what it was, extending a hand to someone who needed it. Each Evanuris governed their own to their whims and those follies came with harsh prices at times. This was the least that could be offered to Lakshmi.
"There will be enough for you to have your fill," he remarks evenly. "Do you know how long your master intends to stay?" And how long she will be here, in turn.
As they walk, he gives warning when they approach anything that may cause her to trip. He nods in greeting at those they pass and no one moves to stop them.
That - the flush works up her face. The others, they'd whispered why Elgar'nan had come here. She flusters, embarrassed, fumbling for what she had been told in rather more crasser terms. The teasing they'd given her when she hadn't understood the first time. Tugging at the end of her hair and whispering awful things to help her catch up with why they were visiting today.
"I do not... until they have had enough of each other's company."
Which is blurted out, as pleasant as she can. Clearing her throat as they walk, taking her steps slowly, and carefully. That was at least easier to do.
He barely manages to muffle his laugh. It had been a long time since he had seen someone become flustered from what Mythal and Elgar'nan chose to do in their time together. A small amusement to detract from his annoyance that it happened at all. They all would do better if Elgar'nan kept far from here, but that was far from an option and Lakshmi would not be here where she could get some treatment.
"That is one way to put it. You would be thankful to know you cannot hear anything, should you find yourself passing by their room." Though with how flushed she appears, he has a feeling she will stay far, far away.
"I am glad that they.... Enjoy each other as company."
It was one thing, when she was no body. To hear about how those far beyond her got up too. Kashi had loved whispering about it and the other servants had embellished gleefully. But it was another to be standing in the room, appreciated furniture that was second to how she could see them look at each other.
"It isn't my business of course." which is as firm as she can manage, but mildly pleading. She'll set alight if she squirmed any more in embarrassment.
"No, but it will be difficult to avoid mention of it in Elgar'nan's service." More so than in any other. He shakes his head slightly and continues walking. "We will not be going near."
In case she needed the assurance. That was a torment she could deal with on another day. The smell of food grew stronger as they turned a corner and Solas greeted another in passing as he led her into the dining hall. The sounds of slaves laughing and eating, boisterous as always during their free time, was loud enough to make him lean in closer to speak.
"I will find us somewhere to seat and retrieve our food."
His voice is warm against her ear, which is a strange thing to note, not the sort of thing she ever did. But purpose it was some strange need from being denied her sight.
"Thank you." She leans in that little, closer to him. More in helpfulness than anything else. She might not be able to see very well, but she could hear how many people were moving about her. Easy enough to know that she could trip over someone like this. So she tucks herself in near and close.
With her close to his side, he finds open space at a table near where the food is being served and guides her hand to the edge of it to steady herself. One hand slides carefully to her upper back, touch light, in order to aid her should she find herself faltering. It isn't until she is seated that he withdraws from her.
"Is there anything I should avoid getting?" Since that would be far easier than knowing her preferences, depending on what is being served.
She reaches out where he has led her, using her hands to navigate the rest of the way. To find the seat, be sure of it before she lets herself sit down. Letting his hands guide her, trusting in him just as she is: blind. That he could hurt her, like this, like so many of Elgar'nan's slaves had just let her trip and not even given her the time of day, didn't seem to factor in. His hands were sure, and she let herself settle a comfortable weight into them.
And with relief, once she is seated, her eyes fall shut completely. The itch and pain was numbed, it was still an effort to keep them open.
"Without meat, please. Simple is... fine."
Her hands fall into her lap, her feet flat on the floor, taking up as little space as she could, hiding within what she could. Clothing that she shifted, her long dark hair falling down around her face.
He raises a brow at that request and her change in posture. Not entirely unusual, but unexpected. Solas has spent his fair share of time around Elgar'nan's domain though he is treated far differently as an outsider. Did they not care how another was brought into the fold? It made him wonder how much Elgar'nan encouraged them to be against one another, to stand on their own instead of with each other.
"No meat," he repeats in affirmation. And he adds, for whatever amount of assurance it would provide her, "No one will disturb you."
At least, those of Mythal's would know better and Elgar'nan's never ventured far enough to be here. Her request is heeded and he returns with a modest plate for himself and a more full one for her. Various fruits, vegetables, pieces of bread and cheese adorned it--simple, but filling. He sets it in front of her and slides into the seat across from her.
She stays quiet, eyes shut, after he leaves - though that concern is there. The little flinches where her hearing is too sharp. Her face turning to each one, reading on the reaction. A hand that hovers near her blade in a readiness that landed her in this mess to start with. She will fight, of course, she will fight.
But nothing comes, not until he comes back and she visibly relaxes to the sound of his voice. Her eyelids pushed open again. Taking a slow breath to get out of her own head, a thin shaking inhale and exhale. Settling instead to look over the food. "Thank you. It does."
Though she waits in hesitation before hunger gets the better of her. Her hand hovering, her fingers curled in, the sleeve falls away from the small of her wrists before she carefully picks up a piece of cheese. Raising it to her mouth and - eats as quickly as she can like she expects someone to take it off her.
He eats his food far more slowly and watches her with a raised brow. Someone was neglecting the care of those newly in their service if she was this hungry. Or did she fear food would not be forthcoming for some time?
"Frightened your food will run from you?" he asks. If she continued eating like that, she might choke. "No one will take it from you."
Anyone that tried would regret it, in any case. No doubt facing retribution from her first. The fight and ferocity he saw in her that day in the streets was there, underneath it all. Elgar'nan would be pleased if he could harness that for his own purposes.
She's well and truly on her forth piece when he speaks. It hadn't taken her long to understand how things worked for the newest of Elgar'nans people. She did not yet have the right to her own meal. She had only the right to fight for it. She'd been successful th day before but the injuries in the effort there of took their toll the next.
But self conscious, she stopped. Hovering with another piece of food she was about to cram in. So instead she took a smaller bite and forced herself to swallow before she took another.
Misunderstanding, for a moment. "I did not mean to be rude." She waits, still for it, a flinch in her words trying to skirt the blow.
He waves off her words. "You will need to try harder if you wish to be." With his place in Mythal's service, he's dealt with far worse than someone inhaling their food.
"I am in no rush to leave. You have time to savor it," he adds after a brief pause. "Have you been given duties to attend to while here?"
Was there a reason for her being here beyond 'breaking her in,' as it were? Solas knows what Elgar'nan himself is up to, but he would be naive to think there were not other motives for the visit. He watches her closely as he picks away at his food.
It's much easier when he asks to pick her food into little pieces then look at him as she makes him. "To... attend my lord, at his pleasure and entertainment." There is an embarrassment in her face - she didn't like to brag, to note even on her skills let alone be dragged into the spotlight. Nevermind how that might sound outside of what had been her tasks so far.
"He wants me to stay on hand at all times... in case he wants to impress."
"You are fortunate my lady has taken that mantle for now," he says off-handedly. The pair would keep themselves busy for the majority of Elgar'nan's stay, whether in politics or leisure. A decision of Mythal's he continually questioned when he was able and she dismissed without much thought.
"He will not find an easy audience here if he seeks to show a prized fighter."
There's the same flush again, but at least this time, she can skim right past in the guise of taking another small bite. "No... he says I am not to be... shown yet. At least beyond Lady Mythal's inspection."
She picks apart a little bit of bread, a precarious amount of stacking of cheese over it, before she eats that too. "I am to train... make myself strong. Prove if I am worth what he... bought me for. If I was worth saving at all." The words aren't hers, easy to tell - after all, she had been full of indignant rage, when they had brought her in. Numb to all else.
No, they were Elgar'nan's words to her. Newly marked, blinded and confused with the pain and grief.
"You have nothing to fear from her," he says readily. This would be her first time interacting so intimately with the Evanuris and Mythal was one she would have the easiest time with. If only all of them could be so civil.
"You are meant to be a warrior then?" No, that wasn't the right word for it. Elgar'nan wouldn't have gone through this much trouble to get her if he meant to use her as a common foot soldier. He taps the edge of his plate in consideration for a moment before adding, "A champion to further his goals?"
Yes, that sounded more likely. A strong fighter he could bring out to show the others who he had under his banner.
"She was... she did not touch me." That was something, which seems nothing. But in the days since she had been taken up by Elgar'nan, he had put his hands in her hair, tilted her face up with nails that had dug in to turn her this way and that, to inspect her. Then passed her over to those that cared just as much. Pawed and poked and prodded with harshly inspecting gaze. That Mythal did not immediately go to lay claim the second she was allowed... it was enough.
But to the rest, she flinches away from it - as if that were not answer enough for his question. Her fingers reach instead for another morsel of food, another small, scurried bite in the nervousness. Busying herself with it as she nods, slowly, little. "I will be presented at the next one of his... displays. When my skills are enough." The joke, the laughter around her head as they marred her face. She looks handsome with a weapon in her hands, that will do well. Now she will be thrown in and directed as he saw fit. "He expects I will do quite well, given the speed my temper gave me. He has put me to dancing, short swords, archery first."
She doesn't want it, of course she doesn't. She had wanted to protect a friend. In her worst nightmares, wildest dreams, it had never looked like this.
The unease she has is clear. He frowns as he studies her, watches her movements for the telltale signs of discomfort. She was not the first he had seen torn from what they knew and thrust into another life, one in which they had even less control of. There had to be a better way. He refused to believe otherwise.
"I am sorry. Even if it means little," he adds. He could not change her fate, not now. Any power he held was within Mythal's court and that all rested beneath her will. There would be no upsets in Elgar'nan's over one of his new slaves. She would become one of others he would 'collect' for such purposes. Solas hides his disgust at the thought with a sip of his drink. There had to be a better way. None of the People deserved to live like this, beneath the heels of another and forced to act as some prize.
"There is not much I can do to ease it. Here, no one will expect you to train or perform." A small respite, that was all he could offer. All that was within his limited power.
Her eyes are still mostly shut, enough to not see his reactions so well, but instead. To know the warm tone of his voice. To hear what he offers and so new this, so foolish to this, by the physical reaction she has, she takes him at his word with full trust. Her shoulders roll back and her breath comes easier. An openness and then -
- the smile curls a little at the corner of her mouth. Not too much, if she did it would hurt after all. But there, just the same. "That is for the best. I would hate to embarrass Mythal's own in their own quarters."
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"But..." She swallows, her jaw setting when she looks back up - her gaze hard, flat. The same refusal to diminish herself. Still not beautiful, but still lean, quick and hard. "He shouldn't have touched her. He shouldn't have. I always told her I never would let anyone hurt her. She is the only one I want to hear from." It breaks, pain that bubbles up and up and up. "But they say I cannot see her. For what I did."
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"I do not have many dealings where you once resided, but if I happen upon her..." He shrugs and lets his words trail off, implication clear. If he managed to hear from Kashi and could see Lakshmi again, he would share what he learned. It was the most he could offer. He lets his words linger in the air around them for a moment longer before he gestures in offering, "I was about to eat, if you would like to join me."
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Too late.
She rises when calls her to follow. Readjusting the uniform to set about her properly, tugging the long tunic into place with stiff hands. Dropping her gaze once more, though this was on behalf of the fact she hadn't meant to have any respite. Best to still look like she was still in pain, still recovering. Not half wrong. The painful heat on her face had abated, but it still did not make it easy to open her eyes fully for any length of time. The pain would return in some time. "I would like that." Her hand reaches out, fingers light, looking for his to guide her.
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"There are a few steps here," he warns as he leads them up into the halls. As he continues speaking, there's a touch of concern in his next question, "Have you been able to eat today?"
Whether she's been allowed or her injuries have kept her from doing so. Thankfully those would heal with time.
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That thought alone made it easy for her to take his arm in return. Looping through tentatively but holding fast. Her fingers curling up around into the material of his sleeve to keep hold.
"Only a simple amount." Hard to want to eat, at the moment. Slowed a little, as she navigates the stairs one by one. But the simplest answer: "I would definitely like to eat."
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"There will be enough for you to have your fill," he remarks evenly. "Do you know how long your master intends to stay?" And how long she will be here, in turn.
As they walk, he gives warning when they approach anything that may cause her to trip. He nods in greeting at those they pass and no one moves to stop them.
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"I do not... until they have had enough of each other's company."
Which is blurted out, as pleasant as she can. Clearing her throat as they walk, taking her steps slowly, and carefully. That was at least easier to do.
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He barely manages to muffle his laugh. It had been a long time since he had seen someone become flustered from what Mythal and Elgar'nan chose to do in their time together. A small amusement to detract from his annoyance that it happened at all. They all would do better if Elgar'nan kept far from here, but that was far from an option and Lakshmi would not be here where she could get some treatment.
"That is one way to put it. You would be thankful to know you cannot hear anything, should you find yourself passing by their room." Though with how flushed she appears, he has a feeling she will stay far, far away.
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It was one thing, when she was no body. To hear about how those far beyond her got up too. Kashi had loved whispering about it and the other servants had embellished gleefully. But it was another to be standing in the room, appreciated furniture that was second to how she could see them look at each other.
"It isn't my business of course." which is as firm as she can manage, but mildly pleading. She'll set alight if she squirmed any more in embarrassment.
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In case she needed the assurance. That was a torment she could deal with on another day. The smell of food grew stronger as they turned a corner and Solas greeted another in passing as he led her into the dining hall. The sounds of slaves laughing and eating, boisterous as always during their free time, was loud enough to make him lean in closer to speak.
"I will find us somewhere to seat and retrieve our food."
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"Thank you." She leans in that little, closer to him. More in helpfulness than anything else. She might not be able to see very well, but she could hear how many people were moving about her. Easy enough to know that she could trip over someone like this. So she tucks herself in near and close.
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"Is there anything I should avoid getting?" Since that would be far easier than knowing her preferences, depending on what is being served.
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And with relief, once she is seated, her eyes fall shut completely. The itch and pain was numbed, it was still an effort to keep them open.
"Without meat, please. Simple is... fine."
Her hands fall into her lap, her feet flat on the floor, taking up as little space as she could, hiding within what she could. Clothing that she shifted, her long dark hair falling down around her face.
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"No meat," he repeats in affirmation. And he adds, for whatever amount of assurance it would provide her, "No one will disturb you."
At least, those of Mythal's would know better and Elgar'nan's never ventured far enough to be here. Her request is heeded and he returns with a modest plate for himself and a more full one for her. Various fruits, vegetables, pieces of bread and cheese adorned it--simple, but filling. He sets it in front of her and slides into the seat across from her.
"I hope this satisfies."
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But nothing comes, not until he comes back and she visibly relaxes to the sound of his voice. Her eyelids pushed open again. Taking a slow breath to get out of her own head, a thin shaking inhale and exhale. Settling instead to look over the food. "Thank you. It does."
Though she waits in hesitation before hunger gets the better of her. Her hand hovering, her fingers curled in, the sleeve falls away from the small of her wrists before she carefully picks up a piece of cheese. Raising it to her mouth and - eats as quickly as she can like she expects someone to take it off her.
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"Frightened your food will run from you?" he asks. If she continued eating like that, she might choke. "No one will take it from you."
Anyone that tried would regret it, in any case. No doubt facing retribution from her first. The fight and ferocity he saw in her that day in the streets was there, underneath it all. Elgar'nan would be pleased if he could harness that for his own purposes.
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But self conscious, she stopped. Hovering with another piece of food she was about to cram in. So instead she took a smaller bite and forced herself to swallow before she took another.
Misunderstanding, for a moment. "I did not mean to be rude." She waits, still for it, a flinch in her words trying to skirt the blow.
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"I am in no rush to leave. You have time to savor it," he adds after a brief pause. "Have you been given duties to attend to while here?"
Was there a reason for her being here beyond 'breaking her in,' as it were? Solas knows what Elgar'nan himself is up to, but he would be naive to think there were not other motives for the visit. He watches her closely as he picks away at his food.
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"He wants me to stay on hand at all times... in case he wants to impress."
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"He will not find an easy audience here if he seeks to show a prized fighter."
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She picks apart a little bit of bread, a precarious amount of stacking of cheese over it, before she eats that too. "I am to train... make myself strong. Prove if I am worth what he... bought me for. If I was worth saving at all." The words aren't hers, easy to tell - after all, she had been full of indignant rage, when they had brought her in. Numb to all else.
No, they were Elgar'nan's words to her. Newly marked, blinded and confused with the pain and grief.
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"You are meant to be a warrior then?" No, that wasn't the right word for it. Elgar'nan wouldn't have gone through this much trouble to get her if he meant to use her as a common foot soldier. He taps the edge of his plate in consideration for a moment before adding, "A champion to further his goals?"
Yes, that sounded more likely. A strong fighter he could bring out to show the others who he had under his banner.
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But to the rest, she flinches away from it - as if that were not answer enough for his question. Her fingers reach instead for another morsel of food, another small, scurried bite in the nervousness. Busying herself with it as she nods, slowly, little. "I will be presented at the next one of his... displays. When my skills are enough." The joke, the laughter around her head as they marred her face. She looks handsome with a weapon in her hands, that will do well. Now she will be thrown in and directed as he saw fit. "He expects I will do quite well, given the speed my temper gave me. He has put me to dancing, short swords, archery first."
She doesn't want it, of course she doesn't. She had wanted to protect a friend. In her worst nightmares, wildest dreams, it had never looked like this.
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"I am sorry. Even if it means little," he adds. He could not change her fate, not now. Any power he held was within Mythal's court and that all rested beneath her will. There would be no upsets in Elgar'nan's over one of his new slaves. She would become one of others he would 'collect' for such purposes. Solas hides his disgust at the thought with a sip of his drink. There had to be a better way. None of the People deserved to live like this, beneath the heels of another and forced to act as some prize.
"There is not much I can do to ease it. Here, no one will expect you to train or perform." A small respite, that was all he could offer. All that was within his limited power.
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- the smile curls a little at the corner of her mouth. Not too much, if she did it would hurt after all. But there, just the same. "That is for the best. I would hate to embarrass Mythal's own in their own quarters."
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