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[mahalakshmi]

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[mahalakshmi]

[ The fingers in her hair feel good, his touch so light. Softer than her own worn ones, maybe she could just sleep here instead - ]

Not a mistake I'll repeat.

[ He can go out and drink as much as he likes, she is never following in this particular endeavour. That much she is sure of. ]

[vorrutyer]

Good.

[ And - ]

I'm sorry.

[mahalakshmi]

[ That makes her head lift, curious - finally stopped. At least for now. Nothing else in her stomach. ]

What for?

[vorrutyer]

For the discomfort you are suffering, dear lady. I don't like seeing your pain.

[mahalakshmi]

[ She laughs, weakly, but for what it is worth, true. ]

It's my pride that did it. We both know that.

[vorrutyer]

Mm. But I should have been watching out.

[mahalakshmi]

[ Lost, a little, when she coughs a bit more, but finally, enough gone that she cups her hand to the tap, rinsing her mouth out. Not so much to help, but rid of that disgusting on her tongue. ]

It is not your fault. Besides, it was just a drink. No different to the others you... gave me. [ Wipes at her mouth, quick sharp movement. ] Besides, it is his fault for sending it to me.

[ As if - the world ever worked that way. To her mind, it should, as firmly as it didn't ever. ]

[vorrutyer]

Yes, of course.

[ His voice is a little dry. No, very different from the ones he gave her - but he'll not hurt her pride by revealing that tidbit. ]

How are you feeling?

[mahalakshmi]

[ Her head rises up, pushing up with her elbows to keep herself steady. ]

Tired. [ A miserable little laugh. ] Is it defeat to return home now? [ Later than she ever tried to stay out, but probably far earlier than he ever did. ]

[vorrutyer]

[ A small gesture of his hand. ]

It is not only defeated generals who quit the battlefield; victorious ones must go too.

[mahalakshmi]

[ That makes her smile, properly, if still - a drunken softness to it. Not quite so sharp, but all the warmer. ]

Well then, my commander, you should take me home.

[vorrutyer]

[ A little snort. ]

Commander? On the contrary. I believe I'm the one who's ordered about.

[mahalakshmi]

[ All teeth, she quite probably is. ]

Perhaps we can pretend for a little while.

[vorrutyer]

What, that I rule over you? A perfectly repugnant thought, even in jest.

[mahalakshmi]

[ She doesn't want to be besotted. It would be less complicated, but there she has it - adoring little laughter. ]

Is it? Well, shall you be my general? Advising me to quit the field.

[vorrutyer]

What - and you my queen? I do not know, dear queen - do you think I have the makings of a general?

[mahalakshmi]

[ Treason, treason if ever heard by another. As if she had not committed half enough crimes this evening. ]

I think so. Or at least, a scheming adviser.

[vorrutyer]

[ With a laugh, he puts a finger under her chin and starts using the wetted towel to wash her face. His touch is gentle. ]

Scheming? How hurtful. I'm an honest man, I promise. Never someone to hurt you.

[mahalakshmi]

[ She sits obediently still - or perhaps not obediently, merely tired and still too drunk. Her eyes falling shut again, leaning against the sink edge where things still swim behind her eyes. Not sick anymore - just the swing of drunken fervour. ]

Perhaps I need you to not be honest, perhaps I too much for us both. [ She breathes in something knotted, taking form as she says. ] I have been protected. I know... [ it takes her over. ] I know I do not know how to be a Vorrutyer. I have always done as I wanted, when I wanted - it will be different. I know -

[ A babble of concern, because she had taken no small part of his words to heart. The slow creep of what it meant to marry into his family. ]

[vorrutyer]

[ He's quiet a moment, staring at her chin as he cleans it. When he does speak, his voice is honest. Quiet. ]

It's not done yet, you know. You can still run away. It's not too late.

[mahalakshmi]

[ Flat, angry, nothing to do with him - ] Never.

[ She won't, won't humiliate her father like that, her uncle like that. There's just too much for her ever to step down. ] But what if I fail you, in this, I do not want to - [ What? Humiliate him. That sounded foolish for everything he said. Her fingers creep up, plucking at a thread in an idle concentration. How did he always so - so - neatly a mess? ] - I do not know. Are you sure you do not wish to run away from me?

[vorrutyer]

Why would I?

[ He reaches out and tucks a little stray strand of hair behind her ear, smiling a little wistfully. ]

You are far, far more than I deserve. I'm marrying far above my station. [ And, more to the point, he can't. For his sister's sake, he...needs to follow through. And Lakshmi does have a core of steel; if anyone can resist the weight of the Vorrutyer legacy, she can. ] And you cannot fail me, believe me.

[mahalakshmi]

[ She nods, taking solace in that flat steadiness, a particular exactness that is in part how hard it is to move in straight lines right now, and that it's hard not to shake, when she feels the thud of her heart inside her mouth when she puts her fingers over his. Curling around his hand, turning her head into that curl. A kiss that is the bite of teeth over the heel of his palm, affection press. ]

Will you forgive me if I find myself loving you?

[ He seemed so against any genuine affection - but she knows her own faults. Her own inability to not give, not with anything less than all of herself. ]

[vorrutyer]

[ His face twists at that. He's drunk himself, a bit, and drunkenness fosters an honesty he's not capable of sober. Half the reason he drinks. So that flash of pain in his face is real. ]

Lady, your heart is a gift I do not deserve. It would be like draping a street-dog in priceless pearls. The creature isn't even capable of understanding its unworthiness.

[mahalakshmi]

[ She keeps her hold tight. Won't let him slip away - how perfectly wretched. Sick with drink, asking for permission for things that should never be a problem if they were not Vor. If they were anyone else - it should never be like that. ]

I would rip apart with my bare hands whoever led you to believe something like that.